To all married couples and singles who intend to get married
This was a lovely story that I picked up from one of my friends note and since I thought that the same was worth a read, I am sending the same to all you guys.
Marraige is indeed a beautiful institution but its with us how we také care of this beautiful relation which is bounded by marraige.
The story:
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking.
I wanted a divorce.
I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question.
This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, I had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love my wife anymore, instead I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces.
The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions:
She didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible.
Her reasons were simple: Our son had his exams in a months time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me.
But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning.
I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable, I accepted her odd request. I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, "Daddy is holding mummy in his arms." His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, "Don't tell our son about the divorce." I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realised she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me, she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously, I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, "Dad, it's time to carry mum out." To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.
On the last day, when I held her in my arms, I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office... jumped out of the car, swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, "Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore." She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. "Do you have a fever?" She said.
I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Dew," I said, "I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realise that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart."
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote: I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property , the money in the bank, blah..blah..blah.
These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.
So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy.
Do have a real happy marriage!
Hope this mail touches all those who have taken their marraige and their partners for granted.
Cheers,
B
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Monday, October 20, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
Thought of the Day
Dear Friends,
The person who complains that he/ she never had a chance to do something different probably hasn't the COURAGE to také CHANCES.
Its a known fact that mostly people don't recognize opportunity, when it comes along is that it is often dressed in coveralls and look like work.
Often opportunity involves a great deal of work and a willingness to take a chance on something, the outcome of which may be uncertain. Eventually you reach a point when you must either accept an opportunity with all of its unknowns or else turn your back on it.
Question: Do we have the guts to také these challenges where there are so many uncertainties.
No one can tell you when you have reached that point; you alone know when it's time to make your move, to have the courage to take a chance.
Cheers,
B
The person who complains that he/ she never had a chance to do something different probably hasn't the COURAGE to také CHANCES.
Its a known fact that mostly people don't recognize opportunity, when it comes along is that it is often dressed in coveralls and look like work.
Often opportunity involves a great deal of work and a willingness to take a chance on something, the outcome of which may be uncertain. Eventually you reach a point when you must either accept an opportunity with all of its unknowns or else turn your back on it.
Question: Do we have the guts to také these challenges where there are so many uncertainties.
No one can tell you when you have reached that point; you alone know when it's time to make your move, to have the courage to take a chance.
Cheers,
B
The Basics of life
Dear Friends,
The following insight was sent to me by one of my colleague. I thought that it was something worth to be shared with all you guys. Indeed very profound, thus please do give it a minute of yours - surely it will make a difference.
George Carlin, comedian of the 70s and 80s whose wife recently passed away, wrote the following eloquent and appropriate piece on our times:
The paradox of our time in history is that:
We have taller buildings but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints.
We spend more, but have less,
We buy more, but enjoy less.
We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time..
We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
We talk too much, LOVE too seldom, and HATE too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a LIFE
We've added years to life not life to years.
We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor.
We conquered outer space but not inner space.
We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul..
We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice.
We write more, but learn less.
We plan more, but accomplish less.
We've learned to rush, but not to wait.
We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships.
These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes.
These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.
It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom.
Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.
Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.
Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.
Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.
Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away - George Carlin
Also remember to share this insight, with people who you know and don't know. Who knows, you might change somebody's life. In this world that we are living, chances for an evangelist to appear to change this world is small, but if we wish, WE ALL CAN DO IT.
Cheers,
B
The following insight was sent to me by one of my colleague. I thought that it was something worth to be shared with all you guys. Indeed very profound, thus please do give it a minute of yours - surely it will make a difference.
George Carlin, comedian of the 70s and 80s whose wife recently passed away, wrote the following eloquent and appropriate piece on our times:
The paradox of our time in history is that:
We have taller buildings but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints.
We spend more, but have less,
We buy more, but enjoy less.
We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time..
We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
We talk too much, LOVE too seldom, and HATE too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a LIFE
We've added years to life not life to years.
We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor.
We conquered outer space but not inner space.
We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul..
We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice.
We write more, but learn less.
We plan more, but accomplish less.
We've learned to rush, but not to wait.
We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships.
These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes.
These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.
It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom.
Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.
Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.
Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.
Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.
Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away - George Carlin
Also remember to share this insight, with people who you know and don't know. Who knows, you might change somebody's life. In this world that we are living, chances for an evangelist to appear to change this world is small, but if we wish, WE ALL CAN DO IT.
Cheers,
B
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Thought of the Day
Dear Friends,
If you start at the top, you can move in only one direction i.e. DOWNWARD
Perhaps the worst thing that might have happened to you would be to have been born with the proverbial silver spoon in your mouth. For had you been born into privilege, you would have been deprived of one of the world's greatest gifts: the opportunity to reach the highest levels of success of which you are capable, solely on the basis of your own merit.
If you were born with less than most, don't resent others who seem to have more advantages. In truth, the real advantage is yours, for you will develop the self-confidence that comes only from meeting life's challenges on your own terms. As you progress, you gain the strength and knowledge necessary to assure your enduring success, things that cannot be given to you, but must be earned.
Cheers,
B
If you start at the top, you can move in only one direction i.e. DOWNWARD
Perhaps the worst thing that might have happened to you would be to have been born with the proverbial silver spoon in your mouth. For had you been born into privilege, you would have been deprived of one of the world's greatest gifts: the opportunity to reach the highest levels of success of which you are capable, solely on the basis of your own merit.
If you were born with less than most, don't resent others who seem to have more advantages. In truth, the real advantage is yours, for you will develop the self-confidence that comes only from meeting life's challenges on your own terms. As you progress, you gain the strength and knowledge necessary to assure your enduring success, things that cannot be given to you, but must be earned.
Cheers,
B
DETERMINATION
Dear friends,
If you ever become discouraged in life (which tends to happens at times), think of HELEN KELLER, who, despite being deaf, dumb and blind inspired her more fortunate contemporaries.
Indeed, the life of Helen Keller is an outstanding example of the triumph of the human spirit over a physical handicap. Even today, decades after her death, her life stands as a beacon of hope for those who must constantly struggle just to perform routine tasks that most of us take for granted.
Whenever you feel fate has been unkind to you, all you must do is look around you and you will begin to appreciate how fortunate you are.
One of the great mysteries of life is why some people who seem to have all the advantages (the right connections, education, and experience) never seem to amount too much while others who have had to struggle for everything they have reach incredible heights of success. It hinges on one thing - DETERMINATION.
If you have the will to succeed, you will somehow find a way, regardless of the obstacles you encounter. Do you use all of your assets to achieve your goals, or are you handicapped by your lack of ambition?
No other person can create in you a desire to succeed. With enough motivation, you will see things all around you that will help you reach your objectives, things that you may have overlooked many times before.
If you ever become discouraged in life (which tends to happens at times), think of HELEN KELLER, who, despite being deaf, dumb and blind inspired her more fortunate contemporaries.
Indeed, the life of Helen Keller is an outstanding example of the triumph of the human spirit over a physical handicap. Even today, decades after her death, her life stands as a beacon of hope for those who must constantly struggle just to perform routine tasks that most of us take for granted.
Whenever you feel fate has been unkind to you, all you must do is look around you and you will begin to appreciate how fortunate you are.
One of the great mysteries of life is why some people who seem to have all the advantages (the right connections, education, and experience) never seem to amount too much while others who have had to struggle for everything they have reach incredible heights of success. It hinges on one thing - DETERMINATION.
If you have the will to succeed, you will somehow find a way, regardless of the obstacles you encounter. Do you use all of your assets to achieve your goals, or are you handicapped by your lack of ambition?
No other person can create in you a desire to succeed. With enough motivation, you will see things all around you that will help you reach your objectives, things that you may have overlooked many times before.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Each of our troubles is a stepping stone.
The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway;
They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.
At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly.
With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing.
He would shake it off and take a step up.
As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal,
he would shake it off and take a step up.
Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey
stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!
MORAL :
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt.
The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up.
Each of our troubles is a stepping stone.
You have two choices...smile and close this page,
or pass this along to someone else to share the lesson ....... I did!!
GOD BLESS YOU....!
Monday, October 13, 2008
Bill Gates' Speech
Dear Friends,
Recently, Bill Gates gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school.
He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.
Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!
Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.
Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
I felt that this is an excellent learning to the new generation and would like all you guys to také the same forward so that the NEW GENERATION doesn't rot. They are the FUTURE and they need to be taken care of if we want a better world.
Cheers,
B
Recently, Bill Gates gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school.
He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.
Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!
Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.
Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
I felt that this is an excellent learning to the new generation and would like all you guys to také the same forward so that the NEW GENERATION doesn't rot. They are the FUTURE and they need to be taken care of if we want a better world.
Cheers,
B
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Thoughts becomes Things
Dear Friends,
Your prgress in life begins in your OWN MIND and ends in the same place.
Every great accomplishment began with the germ of an idea in the mind of a great person, then was shaped for practical usefulness and finally transformed into reality.
George Bernard Shaw said, "People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, they make them."
How well said and it is quite apparent, isn't it?
I am sure that every person who discovered this must have believed (atleast for a while) that he was the first one to work it out. We become what we think about.
Conversely, the person who has no goal, who doesn't know where he's going, and whose thoughts must therefore be thoughts of confusion, anxiety and worry - his life becomes one of frustration, fear, anxiety and worry.
If he thinks about NOTHING, he becomes NOTHING.
Why do we become what we think about?
Remember "Thoughts become things"
To do this, let me explain to you a situation that parallels the human mind.
Suppose a farmer has some land, and it's good, fertile land. The land gives the farmer a choice; he may plant in that land whatever he chooses. The land doesn't care. It's up to the farmer to make the decision.
Out here, we are comparing the human mind with the land because the mind, like the land, doesn't care what you plant in it. It will return what you plant, but it doesn't care what you plant.
Now, let's say that the farmer has two seeds in his hand - one is a seed of corn, the other is a deadly poison. He digs two little holes in the earth and he plants both seeds - one corn, the other some poisonous seed. He covers up the holes, waters and takes care of the land. What will happen? Invariably, the land will return what was planted.
As it's known, "As you sow, so shall you reap."
Remember the land doesn't care. It will return poison in just as wonderful abundance as it will corn. So up comes the two plants - one corn, one poison.
The human mind is far more fertile, far more incredible and mysterious than the land, but it works the same way. It doesn't care what we plant (success or failure, a concrete worthwhile goal or confusion, misunderstanding, fear, anxiety and so on). But what we plant it MUST return to us.
You see, the human mind is the last great unexplored continent on earth. It contains riches beyond our wildest dreams. It will return anything we want to plant.
Every great accomplishment began with the germ of an idea in the mind of a great person, then was shaped for practical usefulness and finally transformed into reality.
Make your mind a fertile ground for ideas through constant study and learning, and condition through constant practice to discipline yourself to follow through on your good ideas. The most brilliant concept in the world is only a dream unless you take action.
Even a mediocre idea that is put into practice is far more valuable than a flash of genius that languishes in a fallow, undisciplined mind.
Cheers,
B
Your prgress in life begins in your OWN MIND and ends in the same place.
Every great accomplishment began with the germ of an idea in the mind of a great person, then was shaped for practical usefulness and finally transformed into reality.
George Bernard Shaw said, "People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, they make them."
How well said and it is quite apparent, isn't it?
I am sure that every person who discovered this must have believed (atleast for a while) that he was the first one to work it out. We become what we think about.
Conversely, the person who has no goal, who doesn't know where he's going, and whose thoughts must therefore be thoughts of confusion, anxiety and worry - his life becomes one of frustration, fear, anxiety and worry.
If he thinks about NOTHING, he becomes NOTHING.
Why do we become what we think about?
Remember "Thoughts become things"
To do this, let me explain to you a situation that parallels the human mind.
Suppose a farmer has some land, and it's good, fertile land. The land gives the farmer a choice; he may plant in that land whatever he chooses. The land doesn't care. It's up to the farmer to make the decision.
Out here, we are comparing the human mind with the land because the mind, like the land, doesn't care what you plant in it. It will return what you plant, but it doesn't care what you plant.
Now, let's say that the farmer has two seeds in his hand - one is a seed of corn, the other is a deadly poison. He digs two little holes in the earth and he plants both seeds - one corn, the other some poisonous seed. He covers up the holes, waters and takes care of the land. What will happen? Invariably, the land will return what was planted.
As it's known, "As you sow, so shall you reap."
Remember the land doesn't care. It will return poison in just as wonderful abundance as it will corn. So up comes the two plants - one corn, one poison.
The human mind is far more fertile, far more incredible and mysterious than the land, but it works the same way. It doesn't care what we plant (success or failure, a concrete worthwhile goal or confusion, misunderstanding, fear, anxiety and so on). But what we plant it MUST return to us.
You see, the human mind is the last great unexplored continent on earth. It contains riches beyond our wildest dreams. It will return anything we want to plant.
Every great accomplishment began with the germ of an idea in the mind of a great person, then was shaped for practical usefulness and finally transformed into reality.
Make your mind a fertile ground for ideas through constant study and learning, and condition through constant practice to discipline yourself to follow through on your good ideas. The most brilliant concept in the world is only a dream unless you take action.
Even a mediocre idea that is put into practice is far more valuable than a flash of genius that languishes in a fallow, undisciplined mind.
Cheers,
B
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
The Washer man and the Foolish Donkey
Have you heard the story of " The Washer man and the Foolish Donkey" ?
To refresh your memory, and for the benefit of those who have not grown up listening to this moral story,
it goes like this…
There was once a washer man who had a donkey and a dog. One night when the whole world was sleeping, a thief broke into the house, the washer man was fast asleep but the donkey and the dog were awake. The dog decided not to bark since the master did not take good care of him and wanted to teach him a lesson. The donkey got worried and said to the dog that if he doesn't bark, the donkey will have to do something himself.
The dog did not change his mind and the donkey started braying loudly. Hearing the donkey bray, the thief ran away, the master woke up and started beating the donkey for braying in the middle of the night for no reason.
Moral of the story " One must not engage in duties other than his own"
Now lets take a new look at the same story…
The washer man (now, a well educated man from a premier management institute) had the fundas of looking at the bigger picture and thinking out of the box. He was convinced that there must be some reason for the donkey to bray in the night. He walked outside a little and did some fact finding, applied a bottom up approach, figured out from the ground realities that there was a thief who broke in and the donkey only wanted to alert him about it.
Looking at the donkey's extra initiative and going beyond the call of the duty, he rewarded him with lot of hay and other perks and became his favorite pet. The dog's life didn't change much, except that now the donkey was more motivated in doing the dogs duties as well.
In the annual appraisal the dog managed a "meets requirement". Soon the dog realized that the donkey is taking care of his duties and he can enjoy his life sleeping and lazing around. The donkey was rated as "star performer".
The donkey now had to live up to his already high performance standards. Soon he was over burdened with work and always under pressure and now is looking for a job rotation…
Disclaimer: All characters in the story are not at all imaginary. Any
resemblance to person living or dying of work is purely intentional.
To refresh your memory, and for the benefit of those who have not grown up listening to this moral story,
it goes like this…
There was once a washer man who had a donkey and a dog. One night when the whole world was sleeping, a thief broke into the house, the washer man was fast asleep but the donkey and the dog were awake. The dog decided not to bark since the master did not take good care of him and wanted to teach him a lesson. The donkey got worried and said to the dog that if he doesn't bark, the donkey will have to do something himself.
The dog did not change his mind and the donkey started braying loudly. Hearing the donkey bray, the thief ran away, the master woke up and started beating the donkey for braying in the middle of the night for no reason.
Moral of the story " One must not engage in duties other than his own"
Now lets take a new look at the same story…
The washer man (now, a well educated man from a premier management institute) had the fundas of looking at the bigger picture and thinking out of the box. He was convinced that there must be some reason for the donkey to bray in the night. He walked outside a little and did some fact finding, applied a bottom up approach, figured out from the ground realities that there was a thief who broke in and the donkey only wanted to alert him about it.
Looking at the donkey's extra initiative and going beyond the call of the duty, he rewarded him with lot of hay and other perks and became his favorite pet. The dog's life didn't change much, except that now the donkey was more motivated in doing the dogs duties as well.
In the annual appraisal the dog managed a "meets requirement". Soon the dog realized that the donkey is taking care of his duties and he can enjoy his life sleeping and lazing around. The donkey was rated as "star performer".
The donkey now had to live up to his already high performance standards. Soon he was over burdened with work and always under pressure and now is looking for a job rotation…
Disclaimer: All characters in the story are not at all imaginary. Any
resemblance to person living or dying of work is purely intentional.
Management Lesson
Many years ago in a small Indian village,
A farmer had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to a village moneylender.
The Moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the farmer's beautiful Daughter. So he proposed a bargain.
He said he would forgo the farmer's debt if he could marry his Daughter. Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the Proposal. So the cunning moneylender suggested that they let providence decide the matter.
He told them that he would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag. Then the girl would have to pick one pebble from the bag.
1) If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father's debt would be forgiven.
2) If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven.
3) But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into Jail.
They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the farmer's field. As they talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles and put them into the bag. He then asked the girl to pick a pebble from the bag.
Now, imagine that you were standing in the field.
* What would you have done if you were the girl?
* If you had to advise her, what would you have told her?
Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:
1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble.
2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag and expose the moneylender as a cheat.
3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order to save her father from his debt and imprisonment.
Take a moment to ponder over the story. The above story is used with the hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral and logical thinking.
The girl's dilemma cannot be solved with traditional logical thinking. Think of the consequences if she chooses the above logical answers.
* What would you recommend to the Girl to do?
Well, here is what she did ..........................
.
The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.
"Oh, how clumsy of me," she said. "But never mind, if you look into the bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I picked."
Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had picked the white one. And since the moneylender dared not admit his dishonesty. The girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into an extremely advantageous one.
I am sure that you would have had various other answers and not this one - but THINK, it was only when we are pushed to think, we would but most of us still would like to come up with the easy way i.e. Option 2, just tell the providences that the moneylender was cheating and close the matter - who knows situation would have worsened. Here the thought was very witty and creative.
We all have that great mind - we need to give time to thinking creatively.
Thus the MORAL of the story is:
Most complex problems do have a solution. It is only that we don't attempt to think.
Cheers,
B
A farmer had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to a village moneylender.
The Moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the farmer's beautiful Daughter. So he proposed a bargain.
He said he would forgo the farmer's debt if he could marry his Daughter. Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the Proposal. So the cunning moneylender suggested that they let providence decide the matter.
He told them that he would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag. Then the girl would have to pick one pebble from the bag.
1) If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father's debt would be forgiven.
2) If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven.
3) But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into Jail.
They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the farmer's field. As they talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles and put them into the bag. He then asked the girl to pick a pebble from the bag.
Now, imagine that you were standing in the field.
* What would you have done if you were the girl?
* If you had to advise her, what would you have told her?
Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:
1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble.
2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag and expose the moneylender as a cheat.
3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order to save her father from his debt and imprisonment.
Take a moment to ponder over the story. The above story is used with the hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral and logical thinking.
The girl's dilemma cannot be solved with traditional logical thinking. Think of the consequences if she chooses the above logical answers.
* What would you recommend to the Girl to do?
Well, here is what she did ..........................
.
The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.
"Oh, how clumsy of me," she said. "But never mind, if you look into the bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I picked."
Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had picked the white one. And since the moneylender dared not admit his dishonesty. The girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into an extremely advantageous one.
I am sure that you would have had various other answers and not this one - but THINK, it was only when we are pushed to think, we would but most of us still would like to come up with the easy way i.e. Option 2, just tell the providences that the moneylender was cheating and close the matter - who knows situation would have worsened. Here the thought was very witty and creative.
We all have that great mind - we need to give time to thinking creatively.
Thus the MORAL of the story is:
Most complex problems do have a solution. It is only that we don't attempt to think.
Cheers,
B
Friday, October 3, 2008
Do we REFLECT enough
Dear Friends,
I'm just an ordinary person working hard and trying to make each day better than
yesterday. I do forget and I sure don't know all of the answers. And just when I think I have sorted things out - and life is smooth sailing - another "opportunity for growth and learning" shows up in the disguise of a "problem" - Believe me, its the lord who wants us to know that there's more to life and thus wherever we are, whatever we achieve in life, its important we have humility, compassion and we are balanced in life.
Every morning, I read books of inspiration or I write down my thoughts on gratitude or my hopes - and my fears
(Its important to step outside our fears to witness them and know how you unchain ourself from them). Sometimes, I simply sit in silence and envision who I dream of becoming - as a Human and as a Leader- and what should I make of my LIFE.
What I'm trying to encourage you is:
Each day, as we walk out into the world, the world begins to do it's job on us.
What do we see and hear?
* Negative people shout their negative beliefs at us.
* People in fear try to invite us into shared misery.
* Troubling news stories and horrible images are placed front and center on newspapers to get our attention.
* Angry commuters and stress-filled workers find their way into our orbit.
And so we forget.
We forget "The Fundamentals" - basic fundamentals of life
* Like every one of us is meant to be great - in our own unique way.
* Like the stranger walking down the street is just like you: he is someone's child. He hopes for some happiness. He once had dreams. He needs to be loved.
* Like, if you choose, you can make a positive difference at work and in life today, no matter who you are and what you do.
* Like life is good. And we can find joy in the simplest of things over these coming hours. If we have the good sense to focus on them.
I guess what I'm trying to share with you is that each day is a struggle for me (its the same for everyone, I know). I wake up, set my course, fill my thoughts with inspiration, wisdom and good ideas. I try to reconnect with who I truly am and what I want to do/ be. And then..... I walk into another reality of sorts.
* One that entices me to forget.
* One that pulls me to get off course.
* One that suggests that other things are far more important.
* One that makes me forget my own thoughts.
Maybe, this is life. A daily challenge between doing what's right and doing what's easy.
Am I supposed to give up - NO.
But, all I know is that whatever life has in store for me, I got to be positive and proceed towards my vision. What would matter is how strong me and my thoughts stand. The stronger I am, the lesser I would forget - The more I remember, the easier it will get.
Friends, I am sure its not just me - We all go through similar situations but DO WE REFLECT ENOUGH.
Cheers,
B
I'm just an ordinary person working hard and trying to make each day better than
yesterday. I do forget and I sure don't know all of the answers. And just when I think I have sorted things out - and life is smooth sailing - another "opportunity for growth and learning" shows up in the disguise of a "problem" - Believe me, its the lord who wants us to know that there's more to life and thus wherever we are, whatever we achieve in life, its important we have humility, compassion and we are balanced in life.
Every morning, I read books of inspiration or I write down my thoughts on gratitude or my hopes - and my fears
(Its important to step outside our fears to witness them and know how you unchain ourself from them). Sometimes, I simply sit in silence and envision who I dream of becoming - as a Human and as a Leader- and what should I make of my LIFE.
What I'm trying to encourage you is:
Each day, as we walk out into the world, the world begins to do it's job on us.
What do we see and hear?
* Negative people shout their negative beliefs at us.
* People in fear try to invite us into shared misery.
* Troubling news stories and horrible images are placed front and center on newspapers to get our attention.
* Angry commuters and stress-filled workers find their way into our orbit.
And so we forget.
We forget "The Fundamentals" - basic fundamentals of life
* Like every one of us is meant to be great - in our own unique way.
* Like the stranger walking down the street is just like you: he is someone's child. He hopes for some happiness. He once had dreams. He needs to be loved.
* Like, if you choose, you can make a positive difference at work and in life today, no matter who you are and what you do.
* Like life is good. And we can find joy in the simplest of things over these coming hours. If we have the good sense to focus on them.
I guess what I'm trying to share with you is that each day is a struggle for me (its the same for everyone, I know). I wake up, set my course, fill my thoughts with inspiration, wisdom and good ideas. I try to reconnect with who I truly am and what I want to do/ be. And then..... I walk into another reality of sorts.
* One that entices me to forget.
* One that pulls me to get off course.
* One that suggests that other things are far more important.
* One that makes me forget my own thoughts.
Maybe, this is life. A daily challenge between doing what's right and doing what's easy.
Am I supposed to give up - NO.
But, all I know is that whatever life has in store for me, I got to be positive and proceed towards my vision. What would matter is how strong me and my thoughts stand. The stronger I am, the lesser I would forget - The more I remember, the easier it will get.
Friends, I am sure its not just me - We all go through similar situations but DO WE REFLECT ENOUGH.
Cheers,
B
Decision Making
Dear Friends,
There is no one right answer - but an endless number of right answers - to most of life's problems. Usually, your options are many and varied; the difficulty lies in choosing the best alternative from among many, all in a reasonable time frame.
If you devote yourself to making small decisions promptly, you will find it much easier to be decisive when the stakes are much bigger. Most important, you'll find making decisions and acting on them far easier if you act promptly.
The man who doesn't reach decision promptly when he has all necessary facts in hand cannot be depended on to carry out decisions after he makes them.
Cheers,
B
There is no one right answer - but an endless number of right answers - to most of life's problems. Usually, your options are many and varied; the difficulty lies in choosing the best alternative from among many, all in a reasonable time frame.
If you devote yourself to making small decisions promptly, you will find it much easier to be decisive when the stakes are much bigger. Most important, you'll find making decisions and acting on them far easier if you act promptly.
The man who doesn't reach decision promptly when he has all necessary facts in hand cannot be depended on to carry out decisions after he makes them.
Cheers,
B
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Most complex problems do have a solution. It is only that we don't attempt to think.
Many years ago in a small Indian village,
A farmer had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to a village moneylender.
The Moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the farmer's beautiful Daughter. So he proposed a bargain.
He said he would forgo the farmer's debt if he could marry his Daughter. Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the Proposal. So the cunning moneylender suggested that they let providence decide the matter.
He told them that he would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag. Then the girl would have to pick one pebble from the bag.
1) If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father's debt would be forgiven.
2) If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven.
3) But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into Jail.
They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the farmer's field. As they talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles and put them into the bag. He then asked the girl to pick a pebble from the bag.
Now, imagine that you were standing in the field.
* What would you have done if you were the girl?
* If you had to advise her, what would you have told her?
Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:
1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble.
2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag and expose the moneylender as a cheat.
3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order to save her father from his debt and imprisonment.
Take a moment to ponder over the story. The above story is used with the hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral and logical thinking.
The girl's dilemma cannot be solved with traditional logical thinking. Think of the consequences if she chooses the above logical answers.
* What would you recommend to the Girl to do?
Well, here is what she did ..........................
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. Hmmmmm Think and scroll
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. Given up - Ok here you are
The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.
"Oh, how clumsy of me," she said. "But never mind, if you look into the bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I picked."
Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had picked the white one. And since the moneylender dared not admit his dishonesty. The girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into an extremely advantageous one.
I am sure that you would have had various other answers and not this one - but THINK, it was only when we are pushed to think, we would but most of us still would like to come up with the easy way i.e. Option 2, just tell the providences that the moneylender was cheating and close the matter - who knows situation would have worsened. Here the thought was very witty and creative.
We all have that great mind - we need to give time to thinking creatively.
Thus the MORAL of the story is:
Most complex problems do have a solution. It is only that we don't attempt to think.
Cheers,
A farmer had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to a village moneylender.
The Moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the farmer's beautiful Daughter. So he proposed a bargain.
He said he would forgo the farmer's debt if he could marry his Daughter. Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the Proposal. So the cunning moneylender suggested that they let providence decide the matter.
He told them that he would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag. Then the girl would have to pick one pebble from the bag.
1) If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father's debt would be forgiven.
2) If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven.
3) But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into Jail.
They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the farmer's field. As they talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles and put them into the bag. He then asked the girl to pick a pebble from the bag.
Now, imagine that you were standing in the field.
* What would you have done if you were the girl?
* If you had to advise her, what would you have told her?
Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:
1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble.
2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag and expose the moneylender as a cheat.
3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order to save her father from his debt and imprisonment.
Take a moment to ponder over the story. The above story is used with the hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral and logical thinking.
The girl's dilemma cannot be solved with traditional logical thinking. Think of the consequences if she chooses the above logical answers.
* What would you recommend to the Girl to do?
Well, here is what she did ..........................
.
. Scroll down
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
. Go on - keep scrolling down !!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
. Hmmmmm Think and scroll
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. Still thinking
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. Given up - Ok here you are
The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.
"Oh, how clumsy of me," she said. "But never mind, if you look into the bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I picked."
Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had picked the white one. And since the moneylender dared not admit his dishonesty. The girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into an extremely advantageous one.
I am sure that you would have had various other answers and not this one - but THINK, it was only when we are pushed to think, we would but most of us still would like to come up with the easy way i.e. Option 2, just tell the providences that the moneylender was cheating and close the matter - who knows situation would have worsened. Here the thought was very witty and creative.
We all have that great mind - we need to give time to thinking creatively.
Thus the MORAL of the story is:
Most complex problems do have a solution. It is only that we don't attempt to think.
Cheers,
Lets Change
Dear Friends,
Stories does excite and moves us but how many of us také that as learning. I always believed, every story has a moral behind.
This story definitely leaves an impact in the mind and makes us think.
Once upon a time a daughter complained to her father that her life was miserable and that she didn't know how she was going to make it. She was tired of fighting and struggling all the time. It seemed just as one problem was solved, another one soon followed.
Her father, a chef, took her to the kitchen. He filled three pots with
water and placed each on a high fire. Once the three pots began to boil, he
placed potatoes in one pot, eggs in the second pot and ground coffee beans in the third pot.
He then let them sit and boil, without saying a word to his daughter. The
daughter, moaned and impatiently waited, wondering what he was doing. After twenty minutes he turned off the burners. He took the potatoes out of the pot and placed them in a bowl. He pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. He then ladled the coffee out and placed it in a cup.
Turning to her, he asked. "Daughter, what do you see?"
"Potatoes, eggs, and coffee," she hastily replied.
"Look closer", he said, "and touch the potatoes." She did and noted that
they were soft.
He then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.
Finally, he asked her to sip the coffee. Its rich aroma brought a smile to her face.
"Father, what does this mean?" she asked.
He then explained that the potatoes, the eggs and coffee beans had each
faced the same adversity - the boiling water. However, each one reacted differently.
The potato went in strong, hard, and unrelenting, but in boiling water, it
became soft and weak. The egg was fragile, with the thin outer shell protecting its liquid interior until it was put in the boiling water. Then the inside of the egg became hard. However, the ground coffee beans were unique. After they were exposed to the boiling water, they changed the water and created something new.
"Which one are you," he asked his daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a potato, an egg, or a coffee bean?"
Which one are you? When problems come (and they will) how will we react?
Will they make us weak, hard hearted or will they cause us to change into
something worthwhile?
Think about it...
In life, things happen around us, things happen to us, but the only thing that truly matters is what happens within us.
"Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be."
There is so much learning in life but we as individuals see only that we WANT to see. Lets start looking at life differently and positively. I am sure that you guys do agree with me.
Cheers,
B
Stories does excite and moves us but how many of us také that as learning. I always believed, every story has a moral behind.
This story definitely leaves an impact in the mind and makes us think.
Once upon a time a daughter complained to her father that her life was miserable and that she didn't know how she was going to make it. She was tired of fighting and struggling all the time. It seemed just as one problem was solved, another one soon followed.
Her father, a chef, took her to the kitchen. He filled three pots with
water and placed each on a high fire. Once the three pots began to boil, he
placed potatoes in one pot, eggs in the second pot and ground coffee beans in the third pot.
He then let them sit and boil, without saying a word to his daughter. The
daughter, moaned and impatiently waited, wondering what he was doing. After twenty minutes he turned off the burners. He took the potatoes out of the pot and placed them in a bowl. He pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. He then ladled the coffee out and placed it in a cup.
Turning to her, he asked. "Daughter, what do you see?"
"Potatoes, eggs, and coffee," she hastily replied.
"Look closer", he said, "and touch the potatoes." She did and noted that
they were soft.
He then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.
Finally, he asked her to sip the coffee. Its rich aroma brought a smile to her face.
"Father, what does this mean?" she asked.
He then explained that the potatoes, the eggs and coffee beans had each
faced the same adversity - the boiling water. However, each one reacted differently.
The potato went in strong, hard, and unrelenting, but in boiling water, it
became soft and weak. The egg was fragile, with the thin outer shell protecting its liquid interior until it was put in the boiling water. Then the inside of the egg became hard. However, the ground coffee beans were unique. After they were exposed to the boiling water, they changed the water and created something new.
"Which one are you," he asked his daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a potato, an egg, or a coffee bean?"
Which one are you? When problems come (and they will) how will we react?
Will they make us weak, hard hearted or will they cause us to change into
something worthwhile?
Think about it...
In life, things happen around us, things happen to us, but the only thing that truly matters is what happens within us.
"Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be."
There is so much learning in life but we as individuals see only that we WANT to see. Lets start looking at life differently and positively. I am sure that you guys do agree with me.
Cheers,
B
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Act on your own initiative but be prepared to assume full responsibility for you acts.
Dear Friends,
Act on your own initiative but be prepared to assume full responsibility for you acts.
One of the primary differences between those who achieve greatness in their lives and those who manage only to "get by" is that successful people learned early in life that they were responsible for their own actions.
No other person can make you successful or keep you from achieving your goals. Taking the initiative means assuming a leadership role, a position that singles you out for praise and for criticism. The good leader is the one who shares the credit for success with others and assumes full responsibility for failures or temporary setbacks.
When you accept responsibility for your actions, you gain the respect of others and are well on the way to creating your own future.
Cheers,
B
Act on your own initiative but be prepared to assume full responsibility for you acts.
One of the primary differences between those who achieve greatness in their lives and those who manage only to "get by" is that successful people learned early in life that they were responsible for their own actions.
No other person can make you successful or keep you from achieving your goals. Taking the initiative means assuming a leadership role, a position that singles you out for praise and for criticism. The good leader is the one who shares the credit for success with others and assumes full responsibility for failures or temporary setbacks.
When you accept responsibility for your actions, you gain the respect of others and are well on the way to creating your own future.
Cheers,
B
Monday, September 29, 2008
Thought of the day
Dear Friends,
Read a quote that provoked me a few days back. "Growth is the only evidence of life." Pretty smart words. They came from John Henry Newman. Since then I have been thinking, how to put this across.
You know I adore the whole notion of growth. To me, that's why we're here. To grow and expand through the work we do, the actions we take and the lives we lead (Don't just live your life - lead it).
But the growth that I am talking about is not just the external one but it is the growth from within. We need to be proud of who we are and not what we are - Status, Name and Fame are secondary and there is no meaning to life if we cannot grow internally - the right character, knowledge and attitude is what will help us be better human and it will také us places. External growth happens when you focus on the internal ones.
Growth from within matters. It's what ultimately makes us feel fulfilled. Energizes us (even when it's uncomfortable - and most growth is). Makes us who we truly are.
Hope you just don't read these mails of mine as mere forwards as I believe in sending my belief - these are from the books that I read, quotes from the motivational sites that I get or some which are my versions. Please také it forward to your friends as well - Lets make this world a beautiful place to live in.
Cheers,
B
Read a quote that provoked me a few days back. "Growth is the only evidence of life." Pretty smart words. They came from John Henry Newman. Since then I have been thinking, how to put this across.
You know I adore the whole notion of growth. To me, that's why we're here. To grow and expand through the work we do, the actions we take and the lives we lead (Don't just live your life - lead it).
But the growth that I am talking about is not just the external one but it is the growth from within. We need to be proud of who we are and not what we are - Status, Name and Fame are secondary and there is no meaning to life if we cannot grow internally - the right character, knowledge and attitude is what will help us be better human and it will také us places. External growth happens when you focus on the internal ones.
Growth from within matters. It's what ultimately makes us feel fulfilled. Energizes us (even when it's uncomfortable - and most growth is). Makes us who we truly are.
Hope you just don't read these mails of mine as mere forwards as I believe in sending my belief - these are from the books that I read, quotes from the motivational sites that I get or some which are my versions. Please také it forward to your friends as well - Lets make this world a beautiful place to live in.
Cheers,
B
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Don't look to the STARS for the cause of your MISFORTUNES, look to yourself to get better RESULTS.
Dear Friends,
Don't look to the STARS for the cause of your MISFORTUNES, look to yourself to get better RESULTS.
There are many things you cannot control, but you can control the only things that really matter: your mind and your attitude.
External forces have very little to do with success. Those who program themselves for success find a way to succeed even in the most difficult of circumstances. Solutions to most problems come from one source and one source alone: yourself.
Living life to the fullest is a lot like shooting the rapids in a rubber raft. Once you've made the commitment, it's difficult to change your mind, turn around, and paddle upstream to placid waters. But it's the excitement and adventure that make it all worthwhile. If you never make the attempt, you may never know the depths of despair, but neither will you experience the exhilaration of success.
Cheers,
B
Don't look to the STARS for the cause of your MISFORTUNES, look to yourself to get better RESULTS.
There are many things you cannot control, but you can control the only things that really matter: your mind and your attitude.
External forces have very little to do with success. Those who program themselves for success find a way to succeed even in the most difficult of circumstances. Solutions to most problems come from one source and one source alone: yourself.
Living life to the fullest is a lot like shooting the rapids in a rubber raft. Once you've made the commitment, it's difficult to change your mind, turn around, and paddle upstream to placid waters. But it's the excitement and adventure that make it all worthwhile. If you never make the attempt, you may never know the depths of despair, but neither will you experience the exhilaration of success.
Cheers,
B
Friday, September 26, 2008
IT'S MIGHTY EASY TO JUSTIFY DISHONESTY IF YOU MAKE YOUR LIVING FROM IT
The subconscious mind makes no moral judgments. If you tell yourself something over and over, your subconscious mind will eventually accept even the most blatant lie as fact. Those whose lives and careers have been destroyed by dishonest behavior began the process of self-destruction when they convinced themselves that one slight infraction of the rules wouldn't matter.
When you sell yourself on an idea, make sure the idea is positive, beneficial to you, and harmless to others. Just as negative thoughts and deeds return to their originator, so do positive ones. When you practice honest, ethical behavior, you set in motion a force for good that will return to you many times over.
Lets ask this question to ourselves - Are we really honest?
Cheers,
B
When you sell yourself on an idea, make sure the idea is positive, beneficial to you, and harmless to others. Just as negative thoughts and deeds return to their originator, so do positive ones. When you practice honest, ethical behavior, you set in motion a force for good that will return to you many times over.
Lets ask this question to ourselves - Are we really honest?
Cheers,
B
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Effective Brainstorming
Most managers simply herd some people in a room with a flip chart and call it a brainstorming session. Yet there is a definite process that maximizes the size and quality of the idea pool. While there are hundreds of valid techniques for doing this, below are just some of the important concepts leaders should consider.
a) The sum of ideas produced by individuals acting alone is greater than the sum of ideas produced by those individuals acting as a group. Further, the diversity and novelty of ideas produced by individuals acting alone is greater than produced in a group. This means that asking group members to think of a set number of diverse and novel ideas before the session and then repeat the process during the session results in greater total output. Be sure to insist that individuals think of new ideas in the group session.
b) Individuals are prone to competency traps and path dependency. This means that it is hard for them to rapidly frame break unless new experience, stimuli or knowledge is introduced. One solution is to import competencies. Bring in new and dissimilar individuals. Try and ensure these new individuals score high on expression, tacit knowledge and status.
c) Brainstorming usually implies that the solution to a problem is being sought. Thus one good principle is to break the session into three parts – problem identification, idea generation and idea selection. It is amazing how many different perceptions of a problem often exist. Each problem definition generates its own set of ideas. This stage-process allows the separation of creative from critical thinking. Writing and editing are two very different processes.
d) Set incremental goals. Incremental goals produce more output than "do your best." Further, they trigger prolific production; it can be said with great certainty that quality is closely connected with quantity – the single best creative product tends to appear at that point in the career when the creator is being most prolific.
There are at least two types of incremental goal: 1) short term – this forces production of output and 2) longer term – this allows problems to incubate at various cognitive levels and results in the required insight.
e) Foster collaboration instead of competition. Competition causes people to shut down, restricts the flow of information and creates core and peripheral groups. On the other hand, collaboration allows the intellectual cross-pollination that is the raw material for the idea generation process.
f) One of the top idea generation killers is slow or non-existent implementation. People just will not take idea generation seriously if nothing tangible resulted from the last brainstorming session. Ensure direct links to decision makers and visible progression through the innovation process – idea selection, development and commercialisation.
g) Don't rely on "creative types." Everyone can generate large numbers of diverse and novel ideas. Whilst there are assertions that there are creativity traits such as lack tolerance for conformity and tolerance for ambiguity, these theories are questioned on the basis that traits are hard to identify, isolate and are not stable or transferable across situations. Further, other criteria such as motivation and competencies are critical.
h) Think beyond brainstorming. The concept of brainstorming as the only effective method of good idea generation is questionable. Some brainstorming negatives include: 1) dilution of ideas, 2) lower rates of participation from individuals who score low in expression and 3) evaluation apprehension. Idea boxes, idea intranets and knowledge bases are just some methods of maximising the contribution of every individual.
Lets Think...!!!
NEVER TRY TO DECEIVE YOUR BEST FRIEND-YOURSELF.
Dear Friends,
Another good thought to ponder upon.
IF YOU MUST BE DECEITFUL, BE SURE YOU NEVER TRY TO DECEIVE YOUR BEST FRIEND-YOURSELF.
A better understanding of what you are about - your goals, your dreams, and your aspirations - leads you to a better understanding of those around you. It is critical, therefore, that you be honest with yourself at all times. The moment you begin to deceive yourself is the beginning of the decline in your character; it is the beginning of a process of rationalization that permits you to justify unacceptable behavior. Make sure you are a person whom you like, a person of sound character. If you don't like yourself, how can you expect others to like you?
Step back and examine your behavior as logically as possible. Ask yourself, "Am I the kind of person I would like to be with?" Developing good character traits is like achieving any other objective.
Determine where you wish to be and then develop a plan for getting there.
Cheers,
B
Another good thought to ponder upon.
IF YOU MUST BE DECEITFUL, BE SURE YOU NEVER TRY TO DECEIVE YOUR BEST FRIEND-YOURSELF.
A better understanding of what you are about - your goals, your dreams, and your aspirations - leads you to a better understanding of those around you. It is critical, therefore, that you be honest with yourself at all times. The moment you begin to deceive yourself is the beginning of the decline in your character; it is the beginning of a process of rationalization that permits you to justify unacceptable behavior. Make sure you are a person whom you like, a person of sound character. If you don't like yourself, how can you expect others to like you?
Step back and examine your behavior as logically as possible. Ask yourself, "Am I the kind of person I would like to be with?" Developing good character traits is like achieving any other objective.
Determine where you wish to be and then develop a plan for getting there.
Cheers,
B
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